DnJ, I would happily share peaches...and apples would be a refreshing change! If only...
I've enjoyed all things with peaches over the last couple weeks - from cakes to oatmeal, you name it, I'm trying it. I've shared with family and with the bears. I'm even making dog treats with peaches this week. Let's see what poochies think. I may be all peached out soon.
Unfortunately, the bears were attracted by the peaches and adventured into the bird feeder. Had a mess to clean this morning.
I congratulate you to have retired - earned position, I'm sure!
I'm mentally not ready and for this reason, am hesitant to earmark weeks to take off and eat the 6 weeks. I'm still overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness. Often. Too often. And, the idea of not having any demands from the job would mentally not work in my favor. I may end up giving time back this year! We'll see.
Have been spending a lot of time with mom over the last year and am finding myself getting triggered by some of her communication methods. This has always been her way, but I brushed it off as i didn't see as much of her prior to BD2.
Two come to the surface most and I wonder if this is the childhood trauma that I need to heal. And, if it is, how do I heal from this? 1. Mom tries to 'control' my decisions by influencing and nudging - I often gave in to what she wanted and am beginning to push back. It's small stuff like, "Stay for dinner. Oh come on, you don't have anything else going on and you're already here...." Yes, I could stay but now that I'm aware of the tactic, I'm more inclined to not stay. I feel wrong but am standing my ground a bit more out of principle. 2. Mom repeats herself a lot. In convo last night, I mentioned that I'm not working this week. Apparently, I didn't tell her. I acknowledged that I may not have told her when she said it the first time. We went on with convo where I told her what I did for the day. At the next pause, she reminded me that she didn't know I was on vaca and made me feel like she didn't listen to any of my day's activities. I ignored the second one and kept talking and she AGAIN reminded me that "It's ok that I didn't tell her but she didn't know I was on vaca. That's great. We all need a break."
I'm considering ADs myself. Filled the script and have just held onto it. I'm a couple weeks shy of BD2 when everything really hit the fan and hasn't been the same. I'm having a hard time. Logically, I know it's just another day. Emotionally, I'm still in disbelief that what I looked forward to in 'our' future was yanked and I continue to mourn the future's loss. Recognizing the emotional roots, I compose myself quicker but cycle quicker too. It's been rough talking myself into clarity. It doesn't help that D and I have not heard from H in the longest stretch yet. A month for me (other than H telling me of the receipt in mailbox) and 2 weeks for D.
I question my decision to not respond to his texts. Yes, again I question because it's counterintuitive and hard to not know how he's doing or what he's doing. I still don't know that he has a dog!
As an avoidant, it may have taken a lot for him to reach out to me at all. Still, breadcrumbs I do not want. A 'friend', I do not want. My inner voice reminds me that he's struggling too and that it's mental illness. H thinks of me but is struggling.
Remember, emotional side of me has been winning out. Logic needs to strengthen. Soon.
This thread is titled, "Detaching & setting boundaries from clingy boomerang". How strange that as I type this, I don't need to detach (H is not reaching out); I don't need to set boundaries (H is not reaching out); H isn't even a clingy boomerang anymore.
On the GALing front, I am playing cards on Monday nights as part of a league. Last night was the first night and we won 3 of 5 games. Still got it lol. Looking forward to this week's tasks and accomplishments...and visit with S on Friday.
