Rumspringa

[RegretfulLA]

Hi D -
No visit to L yet. Our arrangement involves me receiving his paycheck in full and disbursing a stipend back to him, so it's not in my best interest to make any rash financial moves. I am actually in control of our money. The credit card is off his phone and he has no access to it. We have a separation agreement that details all of our financial arrangements. I like your idea of the 100K "credit" however!!!

We are not adversarial and I don't wish to make it so at this point, but this incident swung the pendulum for me firmly towards D. It was basically the last straw, and I think he knows that. Therefore I am orienting myself with D in mind and not reconciliation. The fact that he has moved out and made efforts to "date" other people says to me that he is done with this relationship. I know that the spirit of this forum and Michele's teachings is to avoid D, but I don't think I can continue to be a doormat. This is unacceptable and disrespectful behavior, and if I were advising someone else, I think I would tell them not to accept it either. I also don't think Michele would say "be a doormat for the sake of saving your M".

That said, H has signed a 6 month lease and I am willing to let this play out for the full 6 months. I am willing to hear what H has to say at the end of the 6 months, but I deserve better than this. No self respecting woman would put up with this - the benefit just does not outweigh the cost. House or no house.

(Plus he snores like a freight train and it's been a relief to get away from that.)

I believe that he subconsciously torched this relationship so that I would be the one to initiate D. So, he may get his wish.