Detaching & setting boundaries w/ clingy boomerang

[RegretfulLA]

Time.

From the front end it is near impossible to distinguish. A crisis being a transition gone very much into the weeds.

Basically, a crisis is just worse all around. A crisis lasts longer. Much longer. And progresses glacially slow.

A crisis is consuming. A MLCer is lost. A very lost soul.

Two major hallmarks of a midlife crisis are depression and confusion. The exhibited running behaviour is the desperate person trying to get away from their unrealized unexplained inner torment.

Desperate! Desperate people do desperate things.

Hurt! Hurt people, hurt people.

A crisis is truly horrible. Emotions and torment cranked to eleven, and even passed that.

We all go through various life stages. The midlife transition is a time of recollection, recognizing, reconciling, life’s accolades and regrets; achievements and failures; and such. A transition itself can be tumultuous full of disorder and chaos or more smooth depending upon the individuals past, personality, ability to accept, and a host of other variables. My own transition was rather smooth methinks.

Exiting into the next stage of life can take various paths too, depending upon one’s life to that point.

Myself, I found, I am, happy with my past marriage, my kids, my career, my life. Such leads to a time of peace and contentment, IMHO. I’ve accumulated very few regrets over my years.

Some exit or find their golden years less golden. Such an exit being more of resigned to their lot in life, rather than looking forward to it. We’ve all seen those grumpy people grumbling away. Eyes and outlook more downcast than upward and forward looking.

Midlife, like all transitions, is about acceptance. It’s a loss. One must grieve it. One must find their acceptance with it. No one gets a do-over here, and those that cannot find peace with that, get caught and tangled in the transition. Desperately trying to relive what they feel is their lost youth/life. A bad transition may buy the red sport car, a horrible crisis will burn down their entire life.

Each is seeking their path towards acceptance.

Time.

A MLT builds upon one’s successful life stages thus far. A MLC is seeded from long ago unknown trauma(s). A lot more growing up to do in a crisis.

Time.

Transitions take time.

A crisis takes much more time. And some never exit.

This is gold - is there a way to pin this for future MLC spouses? It really explains so much about what a MLC is all about - it's so hard to understand for those of us on the other side.