You nailed a lot of it ! Had a great weekend . Lots of time with the kids which are really just my loves and keep me grounded . I started to balance a bit better just listening , hearing and not just sitting there . H continues to spend all his free time home can see he’s trying to be extra caring .He had been doing this anyway prior to B drop because A ended few months ago . He has started going to counseling for just him - virtually . Didn’t tell me he started while I was away but I’m ok with that .I have made it clear I’m not going to marriage counseling anytime soon. Agreed he needs a safe person to speak without pressure of some of it being shared with me for now .He has expressed shame ,guilt but mainly the one thing his fear of me leaving not today but in 6 months or a year or me running off having an A . Now wouldn’t that be something ! But not my thing a bit more grounded currently. H stated there are so many times I was just going to come clean over the last few months but you’re so strong I figured you would just boot me to the curb . He hit me with the I’m going to do whatever this takes you deserve better . The one boundary I have been making is I respect honesty and not dishonesty if something is bothering you speak up . This also goes for me I did turn a blind eye to what I knew was going on .I just don’t know how much of a loss he needs because it was quite the jolt when I left and said take whatever you want I’ll replace it . H does attempt to ask me questions I keep answers on the brief side as much as I can and move along . I am always so grateful for this group because it brings me back to the basics sometimes . Just learning to listen and hear is huge for me . I tend to ignore and move along .
