Really don't know how to put this all together without writing a novel.
First week of July my wife asked for separation/divorce. Had a lawyer.
After a couple weeks there was no movement. We had another talk and she was impressed with how I was handling the situation. She expected different. I convinced her to stop paying for the lawyer because we make the same money. Owe nothing outside of the mortgage. And have little savings outside of our pension.
She also agreed to hold off on me buying her out.
She did insist that she is still moving out.
10 days ago she decided to tell our kids what is happening. Kids were destroyed (12 year old twins). I expected her to leave shortly after but she has not.
A few days ago she presented me with a trial separation agreement and said she will leave this Saturday (2 days from now). She has not revisited the conversation.
I have convinced her to go to marriage counseling.
She, the other day also had an open conversation with me that she has been thinking and she is realizing that she has been blaming me for many issues that really have to do with her. But still has not pulled back from moving out.
10 years ago she had an affair. We had many years after that were great. I am over it. During this time we learned that she has severe postpartum depression.
The last few years haven't been great. I have been giving her space, which may have been the wrong approach.
Ultimately, it seems like she is trying to find herself. Her relationship with our kids is good not great. It is often compared toy relationship with them.
I'm sure this post is confusing and leaving out details. Please let me know where to expand.
Honestly, so very confused as to why she is not moving forward. (I don't want her to).
