Detaching & setting boundaries w/ clingy boomerang

[mamabird]

I am sorry, MamaG! I hope your pity party helped you clear some of your emotions. But sometimes, you just have to let those emotions out. I haven't had my pity party yet but I'm sure once everyone clears out of here next month, I'll have one. I also have 2 dogs btw! I am sure I will be leaning on them for comfort and company!

I feel like there is a lot of grief in this journey. As they say, grief comes in waves. Some days are fine, others are hard. You never know when you'll be hit by a wave, but in time, the waves get smaller.

I would love to see your H get some therapy. Coming from your D, it might be easier for him to hear. Certainly he will never listen to you if you say it.

Good for you for spending some time with your brother and getting away. I empathize with your feelings at seeing happy couples. I'm not much of a social media user, but now it's even harder because I feel envious of my friends' happy relationships. We don't need that in our face when we are struggling. One thing that I heard a lot when I was going through cancer was "new normal". Well, this is your new normal. Pretty soon it won't feel new, and it will just feel normal, as hard as that seems right now.

And one more thing: it seems to me that most LBS end up doing BETTER. Maybe they've had to take a financial hit, but they regain their dignity and some sense of themselves. As you told me, you and your H have been together basically your entire lives, so you have been in the role of wife or wife/mother for a very long time. I have been working with my therapist on ME. And this is your time to work on YOU - who is MamaG and what makes her happy?