Hi RegretfulLA! I'm learning through your sitch too. We have similar paths. Your H's reaction and my H's reaction are very similar at the 'moving out' timeline. H definitely felt the need to leave and live by himself. It almost felt like he had to prove that he could handle living alone, paying his own way, taking care of himself, etc. I imagine you (like I) married in young 20s. My H didn't have much of a dating experience. He moved out of his parents' house and in with me. No break from accommodating others' needs. Never lived alone and for himself. I think this contributes to many of our sitches.
Originally Posted by RegretfulLA
Over the years I have been the target/perceived cause of his problems - he has never realized or accepted that I'm actually here to support him. He treats me like an enemy. He has very serious Mommy issues and I think he wants a Mommy - not a mother, but a Mommy. I'm really domestic and I cook and like to be around the house but I'm not a coddler. Not with my own children and certainly not with him. H has perceived that I've never been happy with HIM because "I'm always telling him to do something differently." I am not sure how he expects me to communicate my wants and needs if I don't tell him. It's so immature. I have very serious doubts that he can overcome his low self esteem issues, especially if he is not getting the right help.
The above summarizes my H and I as well. Hugs to you as you move your son into school. I am still learning to live with an empty nest. This is yet another similarity in our sitches that we can help each other through. You aren't alone.
