MLC Hubby wants to move out

[mamabird]

Thank you D for your encouragement. My anger will get the best of me. You are right about the STFU smoothies. My friend told me to get a word document and vomit my anger right into it. Of course, I have the right to be angry but given our particular dynamic, my anger will shut him right down. It's a tough position to be in. I need him to hear me and understand me and somehow have to figure out how to make that happen sans anger. If I do decide that I want to make this M work, it will be up to me to put aside that anger.

Anyway, those conversations won't be happening any time soon. For now, I'm just starting to tell people what is happening and feeling very supported by my friends and family. They are all telling me how sorry they are and I'm thinking that I'm actually winning here. H is taking all his negative energy and leaving and I'm starting to see that as more of a gift.

Not much more to say at this point. H is gonna do what he is gonna do, that much is clear. I feel bad for him. He's clearly hurting and confused and depressed... like you say. D, you definitely have a good handle on what an MLC is.

I don't plan on interacting with him much during this time. When I told my dad what was happening, he said, "Make sure you stay in contact and go on dates." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Even though he and my mom have been divorced for almost 50 years, I don't think he understands what's really happening here.

And I'm coming to terms with it. Coming to terms with the REALITY of what's been happening vs. how I wanted things to be. He hasn't been a good H for a long time, and I deserve better - either from some new and improved version of him, or from another person who is maybe not so depressed.