It’s good to see you vented here, and remained silent for at least 48 hours.
W provided quite the barrage of conversation. Something I see, you are looking at it rationally. Looking at things in a manner of how would I fix it if this were my problem. Your views and statements are correct, yet that doesn’t and won’t really matter to W. More look at her conversation in its entirety with less desire to help/fix/etc. And without needing to defend yourself. Just listen and validate/respond where appropriate.
Originally Posted by grok
G, “Thank you. I will remain on schedule. Also, I was billed $xxx for yyy.com. Is this one of yours?”
W’s paragraphs reply shortened to: - yes, for my gig work - I will go back to the RV and update - $xxx can be from over-repayment above - $xx can be from the ~$xxxx I paid for kids school
W - Let’s not do tit for tat. Just tell me if my expenses. It’s not on purpose.
W - I am paying $2,xxx / month for kids’ expenses, lots of gas.
W - D17 doesn’t make her own food to sports and work and I pay the bill.
W - state child support and alimony rules are screwy, though we don’t make them. Child support should be shared the best we can.
W - I don’t ask for even a tiny bit of expenses the kids cause because asking “may I” is crazy. I don’t care about the agreement.
W - I don’t mind paying kids expenses. We are sharing kids 50/50, so I don’t mind paying as much as I can. God will provide.
W - I don’t mind helping with the house. I cleaned up the back yard last month and trimmed up the hedges today. let me know if that eases the burden and what else since I am using your space.
W - I will be showing S12’s school for accountability now. Feel free to let me know if you have concerns.
Next day
W - I’d like to take S12 two states up in early Aug. to see his friend X before the school year.
It looks like W is playing nice, even cleaning up the hedges to ease your burdens. (lol, I’m with you. She doesn’t clean up after herself, hasn’t taken the rabbit, and stuff still in the den and garage. However, those hedges are all fixed up.) Anyhow, point being she’s playing/being nice, pointing out all she’s done and doing, and “the next day” unveils why - to ask about taking S12 on a trip.
Just listen and validate/respond where appropriate.
Originally Posted by grok
To respond After all that, I haven’t replied yet. Short Simple Business Maybe:
“I have no conflicts with those dates.”
Could add a bit of validation. Let her know she’s been heard.
(Assuming you spoke to S12, and he actually wants to go on the trip.)
“G: W, good point. I will let you know if I have any expenses of your’s. Please let me know if you have any expenses for me.
The dates for your trip work well for me. Hope you and S12 have a good time.
Also, I am looking at visiting my family during Sept x-x and plan on taking the kids with me.”
I wouldn’t ask W about looking after the animals during your trip. Arrange other care in your absence. Hire a friend of the kids, utilize a kennel, etc.
Hope your Sunday is going well.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
