So just an update. I've been living in Europe now for almost 4 weeks, I have been dealing with father's health issue and my personality type is I like to do things for others. So I have been going to regular hospital visits to my father's room. That has kept me somewhat busy, the rest of the time I try to enjoy some alone time, driving around, seeing things, eating alone, going to pool on hot days, doing a little bit of gardening, etc. I have begun taking some joy finally doing things by myself and absorbing the new environment, taking joy in small things like architecture, good food, natural features around country. It has given me a sense of appreciation for simplicity in life and given me an almost live every day as if it's my last mentality. Sometimes we ignore so many things around us and we forget how lucky we are to be here. I will randomly strike up conversations with strangers. Say hello or good morning to people I don't know in town, talk more to cousins and family. Enjoy religious festivals and decorations, take in some concerts, watch a couple of sunsets in very scenic places. I have been doing all of this while dealing with family health issues, have an uncle who just had a heart attack as well, and all while I have now approached almost a month after signing or finalizing separation agreement we had drafted up through mediator and agreed on It seems she is trying somehow to bleed me out financially on purpose, and is now seemingly delaying the process in a malicious manner. I am burning through money a lot quicker than necessary as i have had to extend my rental car now 3 times - cant do much where i am without car. My debts are still needing to be paid, all while the money and its a lot sits in trust at the real estate lawyers account My lawyer has now contacted me 4 times and ask me why its taking so long and has already suggested further steps should she not sign the agreement which is already heavily in her favour. All while she clearly continues with om4 Im not letting this get to me emotionally as i have enough to keep me busy and to enjoy but it is a financial drain and ive had to delay my new job here as i need a vehicle for it and ptoceeds of house and separation are tied up. I do not understand at this moment how ridiculous this is becoming. I almost feel like shes trying to have me go back somehow or have me available when her new relationship goes south which it most likely will.
All this being said, the atmosphere here and way of life suits me to a tee, i have found myself smiling a lot more often, enjoying things i previously didnt, making the best of every minute of every day, being grateful for family while i have them around. I joined a dating site when i got here to see what was out there, didnt have much expectations to be honest and was perfectly fine if i didnt meet anyone. I did however get a match, i found someone and have been talking to them for a bit now, she seems very balanced and has a lot of qualities i find important, being alone and seeing my ex taught me a lot of lessons about red flags and qualities i wont tolerate. I am not forcing the relationship and im letting it come as it does, slow and steady, getting to know the person, what their likes are how they see the world, what they want in a partner. I do feel ready to open up to someone new but im not depending on it to go anywhere despite everything being positive until now. If it doesnt go any further im perfectly fine continuing my routine and enjoying my alone time. I feel that for her to be compatible with me she has to compliment my life and not take away from who i am and the values that matter to me, I also do not want to have to change the person to suit me. She seems to tick all the boxes so im willing to give it a shot.
Im glad there hasnt yet been talk of intimacy or even questions asked about my past and if there was I'd be as short and diplomatic as possible. I really dont want that toxicity to leak into this connection She is also here from abroad trying to make a new life for herself and also left evetything behind and is trying to make new friends and wants a man with a good heart that is honest and comoliments her life. I know it probably might be early to enter into a new relatoonship but i do feel ready to let someone in, but only if they are the right person for me and only if it adds to my life. Its amazing how much a new country, being close to family, starting a new life elsewhere can do to the healing process and create an environment conducive to moving forward and rediscovering who you are and what you truly want and not settling for anything less than you deserve
