Thank you - this is helpful. The past year has been a humbling experience for me in terms of how little I know about relationships. How much I took for granted. How lost I got myself in the drudgery of the everyday mundanity, and how much that had worn me down.
Having read a lot on this forum, I marvel at the similarities in the situations that we find ourselves in. And I have reflected on how much good advice there is on here, and how I have repeatedly been unable to stop myself from stumbling on some of the "rules".
Detaching is hard for me, yet I have made progress. I give my wife lots of time and take on a lot of the household plus look after my kids next to a fairly intense job; I am not sure if I do not overdo it. I have some holidays coming up, including a week to myself which I really need.
I am trying to not stray into controlling behaviour, so I am a bit torn on engaging around getting a job. I will give this some thought, thank you again for your advice.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by "better yet, be busy doing"?
