Grief and Gratitude, Grok - Shifting

[grok]

Hi MamaG,

I often see advice for how to respond to myself and don’t want to send you down the wrong path.

That's OK. Say what you see. You will see, recognize things I do not.

This is such a hard road.

I have this check of my state. I hold out my hand in front of me. Flat. I see how much it shakes as I try to hold it still. It took over a year to mostly not shake. Now? Only on bad days.

I have a Mormon neighbor who periodically evangelizes the neighborhood door to door. I talk with her and discuss. People of goodwill. Upon hearing the bones of my story she quietly said, "it took me ten years to recover from my divorce. I'll pray for you."

You may not know it, but from time to time I look to your posts for a role model. Reading your quotes and listening to how you handle life inspires me to do better.

Thank you. We encourage each other to survive, do better, then thrive. Just like I receive much from reading others stories, I hope others can take something from mine.

I can see myself in your situation. I also am a leader in IT. I need to keep it together by day. Sometimes it’s just exhausting to stay together when I come home.

Leader in IT? *Laughs* What a history I have. The closest term you could use for me is Systems Engineer in the old sense, not the IT sense. IT was a side effort to enable my other work. My professional IT trail includes
- Modifying Intel 486 based computers to speed up rendering of large Autocad models,
- In charge of 5 person shop running a 800 person org’s servers, clients, and network.
- Constructing the equivalent of the A+ course and teaching dozens of administrative assistants who had been redesignated as IT support
- Evaluating sensor data backhaul systems…SATCOM, internet, synchronous and asynchronous links, fiber, radio, etc…
- And on

exhausting sometimes? just sometimes? *wry smile* I find it a little easier keeping it together by focusing on just today’s troubles. Keeping it together one day at a time. For -

when I was going through this, my mantra was

Today is not the day that I quit

Maybe I will quit tomorrow, yet I will wait to see what tomorrow brings

Then repeat that tomorrow

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2713361#Post2713361

And

“So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

g