H sent another text this morning..." Gm! if I get out of work at a decent time (which hasn't happened all summer) I'll stop over to get things." H must really want his belongings. That's F, Sat and today with similar outreaches to me for his things.
What did I do? Nothing
I've asked myself why don't I respond? What exactly is my reasoning? a boundary? no question therefore no response?
Coincidentally, H texted the kids today that he misses them. The kids too didn't respond. Hours later he told the kids that it's rude to ignore his texts....not sure if that generated any response from kids. H is laying in the bed he made and continues to make. Sigh (I take no pride in this).
Question on boundaries....to share or not to share.
After considering why I don't respond to H, I realize that there are a few drivers. - I'm giving him the space he's asked for. - I'm removing myself from the emotional harm's way that comes from breadcrumbing. - I'm protecting myself from the emotional abuse derived from his coping mechanism. To prevent H from disrespecting me by leaving in the middle of a conversation or conflict, I just don't allow myself to engage.
How do you feel about me sharing my boundary when H asks me why I ignore him? If you're agreeable to me sharing the boundary out loud, is this what it should sound like?
H, I haven't engaged because it's never clear if a conversation will be completed or if you'll leave in the middle of it. Walking away is a form of emotional abuse that I won't tolerate.
