Grief and Gratitude, Grok - Shifting

[grok]

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day all.  It's been a pretty good week since I got back home last Friday.

D19 has been exhausted with her return to work while not fully recovered from illness.  Last day of antibiotics today.  She's had a tough time with those pills as she can't swallow them. Old issue with a tongue tie.  We have to crush them and mix into something she can swallow.  They taste terrible no matter what.  Tears.  and while I was gone, "Momma doesn't do it right daddy!"  Finally on day 7 we hit on mixing crushed pills with a green health drink.  Sleeping 10 hours and napping for hours also.

W texted me ~10p last night wanting to take the kids out for brunch.  She planned on showing up at 10a absent any other notifications.  The last minute late at night irked me a bit so I waited and replied after I had breakfast this morning, "I'll have them ready at 10.”. And so I did, as the kids didn’t seem to have any urgency to go. They were back by 1130.  

I made my own brunch just for me with a delicious omelet (Italian sweet sausage, fresh little onions and mushrooms, bell pepper and cherry tomatoes, feta on top) along with homemade bread with local peach jam.

Everyone seemed tired so I decided it was a rest day. Everything can wait. D17 and S12 were now complaining of pain/illness symptoms. A quiet mid day and everyone took naps. Some fun after with a BB gun and bow/arrow in the back yard. Something we picked up when D17, S12 and I had taken a trip to Bass Pro Shops last weekend while D19 napped. Then the movie “Independence Day” just for fun. D17 spent the movie yelling at the characters for their bad choices.

By the time the movie ended, it was time for our own fireworks. As usual, I had purchased 30 minutes worth of firework fun for the kids. It was fun with D19 jumping up and down with her excitement. D17 and S12 were feeling worse by now and sat out half of it. With how they described their symptoms I decided to take them in to the urgent care clinic tomorrow morning. And sure enough, S12 measured 102/103F now just before bed. Frustrating as he had a mile fever last Saturday but it had gone away since then! Cold medications for all and to bed.

Meditations on Blame and Forgiveness

I had a couple days of a single band playlist while driving.  Themes resonating. My own thoughts will have to wait for time to write. It’s almost midnight again.

What if we all just have different failure modes?

Only with the right motives can blame be placed…and dealt with.

Blame - Collective Soul

When you're willing to render
To the guilt you concede
When truth is your reason
Then lay the blame on me
When you unveil a conscience
And with peace you agree
When love is your constant
Then lay the blame on me

Question your answers
Your truth has no anger
Gather up your words
Redemption now offered

Leading to ...

Forgiveness - Collective Soul

In my silence, I would love to forget
Restitution hasn't come quite yet
And with one accord I keep pushing forth
While I stretch my heart to heal some more
....
As my seasons change, I've now grown to know
When one's heart creates, one's soul doesn't owe
So I wash away stains of yesterday
Then tempt my heart with love's display

It used to be all I'd want to learn
Was wisdom, trust, and truth
But now all I really want to learn
Is forgiveness for you

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