Valeska19 - hope you're doing well! It's a gut punch (several gut punches) to read your words and realize how you're right. You make sound points and make obvious observations. Love really is blind, isn't it?
Originally Posted by Valeska19
For example: The statement above states that you are convinced your husband wants to come home? What makes you believe that? What are you seeing that demonstrates he wants to be a spouse to you versus wanting to come home because it's easier for him?
The answer to knowing the difference... setting boundaries. Someone who wants to do the work, will end up respecting your boundaries. Someone who wants his own way - will find a way to avoid respecting your boundaries.
It's easier to think that H wants to come home rather than it would be easier. Yet, as I reflect, I can see your point. H hasn't done much to show that he wants to come home or that he even thinks about me much. Other than the empty texts, I get nothing. What hurts the most is how H has been no more than an uber driver for my medical appts. If anything, H's action show that he doesn't care nor wants to come home. I guess it's more a feeling based on how H looks at me and is kind in the few moments we have...maybe I'm just seeing/hearing what I want to see/hear. Ugh - another gut punch.
Question...based on his cycling history, H will reach back out for some item that he needs. I'll respond with, "Please send a list of what you need and I'll be happy to put in the garage and to schedule a time when you can come pick it up." At which point, we'll set up a time/date for H to come to grab things and he'll face the pile I've packed up.
If H doesn't take his belongings, do I continue to store them, do I drop them off to him, bring them to a storage unit & give him a key? What do I do with packed belongings that he'll likely not take with him? I imagine that he'll be emotionally driven to 'escape and avoid' without his belongings. And, it'll feel like he's losing control?
