I'm DBing. It's getting easier. Then, I turn around and there's a text from H. The last couple times H texted me (today being the 2nd of 2), H sent a separate text to kids within a minute. The texts are of the same flavor each time. My guess is H is missing us while at work and reaches out for info that keeps H in touch. But I don't know that I have it right.
Text to me: How are you feeling? Back to yourself? Did you get results post surgery? Text to kids: How are you? Any plans for the weekend?
H has not apologized for anything so I don't know that H has 'awakened' and isn't necessarily making an effort to commit.
H has remained very interested in my health and enjoys coming to the family home. Not sure I should continue 'letting' him be so comfortable. My thought is to continue declining home visits for repairs but provide updates on health. Thoughts?
Vets told me I'd know if H was trying. I don't know how I'd know that H is trying, but doesn't know how to take the first step versus touch-n-go'ing to go back to replay. In Jan, H said that he had second thoughts about D which is why H hasn't initiated the process. In Feb, H wanted to try but never made much of an effort. H came for a couple dinners after work and we held a few conversations outside of Dr appts. Not much of a concerted effort to consider it an 'awakening' or is it one of several? Each time, I've treated H with lots of respect and remained positive through visit with some built in humor. Basically, a typical dinner before DB...except that H then hugged it out and left to his house. Yes, I know, a big difference but some effort and requesting the dinner and showing up.
I don't want to push H nor stir the pot unless he's in withdrawal - that's what I've learned. Yet, I can't help but wonder if H is trying and looking for me to nudge him towards 'us'. Believe me, if these are positive signs that he's making progress but I need to stay the course with short responses, I will do just that. Looking for input from my DB family.
Is this a good response?: Yes, I'm nearly back to myself. While you're unable to be an appropriate husband, I can only love you from a distance. When you choose to be an appropriate husband, we could discuss what to do to repair our marriage. Until then, I hope that time and space continues to help you with your happiness.
