I did make it through TSquared2's story a few weeks back. So many resonances... so much I don't have time to write.
Originally Posted by TSquared2
I have read that people "re-create" the marital environment they grew up in,
Her mom strayed, briefly early on, and apparently her dad never let her forget it when upset. I didn't know this until this last year. I've wondered if she saw me in the role of her dad. I've wondered if she thought her mom missed out on the opportunity for a better man/life.
It's been a few days since posting on my thread. Daily life eating up all the time... emotional swings more muted these days. I don't much ponder what W is doing or why.
I haven't seen W much. She still stops by just before bed time most nights and the kids go out to her car for 5 or 10 minutes. I find it fascinating that when they know she is there, they will finish up their current activities and go out when they feel like it. While she waits. They appear in control.
W does come by for an hour or two most work days to do a little schoolwork with S12 while I am out. This is reminding me of grandparents who stop by for a little while to get their kid fix...then leave again. W many months back, "I feel so relieved at my RV, I don't have everyone wanting something from me all the time." Everyone could only mean our children. "They need a Dad more now anyway." "I'm so much more than a stay at home mom/housewife and homeschooler, not that there is anything wrong with that. I'll be the mom that comes home late with pizza now." This is opposite of what SHE CHOSE for all our time together. Two years ago she would have been upset with a woman who said, "not that there is anything wrong with that." Those roles can be hard work!
It feels like,
Originally Posted by MrP
My wife acknowledged at one point that part of her interest in a D was to enable her to essentially only be an active parent 50% of the time.
W was leaving as I came home from work the other day and she asked me I I had gotten my financial affidavit notarized yet, the last piece of paperwork she needs to go file the mediated uncontested divorce. The notary had been out sick though. Then she was sure to let me know, "G, I have a job working housekeeping at the RV park now. The best thing is it comes with a large shed to keep my stuff in. I've been taking a load of my books out each day." You see we have both been avid readers and have kept less than one tenth of what we have read in ... I think 15 full size book cases!
So...excited for a housekeeping job after all her grand plans of cool "gig work" last year... and reasons for D that now is the time to REALLY LIVE LIFE as OM flies an airplane and goes deep sea fishing. You know, I have a non-current private pilots license. Been good at water ski, snow ski, rock climb, motorcycle on and off road, remote backpacking, climbed a glacier, etc... And other things. I stopped doing many of them to pay and have time for CHILDREN and a HOME that we had AGREED on.
GAL continues with Tuesdays at the brewery trivia night. I'm slowly expanding the people I know there. I rode my bike for the monthly Critical Mass group ride through the city at night. I know 4 or 5 regulars by name now. I'm finally getting over soreness from the Spartan Obstacle Course Race I did with work mates. Good thing tickets were free through my work!
Patient by Apollo TD
So this is broken I guess And if I'm being honest I'm over my head The hurt rages inside wave after wave like the ocean tide I’ve done all I can It’s out of my hands
It’s easy to forget It’s part of Your plan, there’s a light up ahead But right now I’m restless, I need You because I’m anxious I’ve done all I can It’s all in Your hands
When my world keeps on shaking, and I'm breaking When the skies won't stop raining, and I'm fading Help me to be okay with what I can't change And remind me there's meaning in the waiting Help me to be patient
Don’t know how long I can last I need some reassurance that this too shall pass I throw my hands up in the air, don’t wanna be a slave to fear I know I gotta let it go
g
H:55 XW:50 D19, D18, S13 ILYBINILWY 3/23 DB1 4/23, rescinded 5/23, DB2 6/23 ("I can't do this, I Love HIM") Legal Mediation 1-5 & W leaves 8/23 – 3/24 Settlement 5/24, Court 9/11/24 <-, D 9/16/24
