Just remember, in a catholic perspective, we are called by God to help others and to forgive, if repentance and remorse are not shown we have to leave it up to God. We are not able to fix a person who is broken so deeply. Remember like a stern parent who says no and instills discipline and consequences, the child becomes better for it when they eventually realize. A parent who caters to a childs every feeling and whim does not learn any valuable lessons, they do not learn gratitude and humility, they do not learn that their desires and wishes don't supercede the feelings of others who stand between their wants. You are doing the right thing as hard as it may seem, remember your H is very much like a child who is testing boundaries and pushing the limits. Show him how valuable you are by not enabling his bad behaviour, you are standing up to his indecisiveness by sticking to your values and morals. When he looks at you he will see someone who is strong and has perseverance, rather than someone whom he can manipulate and someone who needs him
He's not even able to look after his own needs let alone anyone else's.
I just want to see it is really really hard to do the opposite of what your heart desires, but following your heart will prolong and extend the pain, tough love is what he needs, not cruelty or disrespect, but the love similar to a disciplined parent. You will go through a tide of emotions, sometimes even all in the same day. Focus as hard as you can on whatever physical activity you can or even meditation, a physically healthy body = healthy mind and builds strength to endure the crap storm of all this. Your H is still really confused and he's still coping with substances and external things to fill the void, this isn't a sign of improvement or working on himself. The use of edibles and such will alter his mood and likely make him go back and forth mentally, dont let this affect you
Stay calm and remain cordial, keep your emotions to yourself away from him. He will feel like you are moving on witjout him and hell begin seeing a sense of loss. Be the better person, be the rock and the shining light in a time of thunderstorms. This will serve you well At the end of the day, make him want you by being your best self and if he doesnt want to fix things you will feel better about yourself, your self confidence will exude when interacting with others and they will take notice.
