Hi everyone, checking in here to provide an update and say hello. My sitch continues to develop and I am doing well - hard to believe it's been 8 months since DDay. I feel like a different person now, and am content in a way I did not think would be possible back then. I continue to work on being centered and detached and have reacquainted myself with the self confidence I felt before my marriage deteriorated.
W and I still live together but I have filed D and am in process of negotiating what that looks like with her. I've been diligently watching the housing market in our area and am going to see a rental property today that is right around the corner - walking distance - from our current home and the kids' school. Securing this home would be a small win from the standpoint of helping all of us get used to life after divorce.
My kids still do not know but we plan to tell them within the next two weeks. Unfortunately the news has leaked out to our social circle and beyond, and has reached the level of idle gossip among people we don't know. As a result I am urging W to get to a point where we can tell the kids, but she is struggling. She continues to drink, party, and avoid.
I have remained highly involved with the kids and am loving every moment of it. Hearing them tell one another or their friends what fun adventures they've had, or how much they like a new board game we've played, or what they're looking forward to is so rewarding. My oldest S8 was given a year-end award at school for leadership and character and I about burst with pride at the ceremony.
I now understand how important it is to be patient with this process. Obviously I did not bust my divorce, because I decided that the boundaries that were crossed and the nature of my sitch was not reparable. (That was actually something that the DB forums and books helped me decide, ironically. I now believe infidelity does not have to be the end of a MR, but I also understand what the path to healing looks like and it is not a path my W ever demonstrated interest in walking.) But nonetheless I continue to DB in the sense that I take responsibility for my own self and path in life.
