Just remember something, assume there is another person in the situation. People in his situation do not like to be alone, but they also do not like losing their comfortable security blanket that is their spouse. I made the mistake that the crumbs and occasional signs of affection were genuine and a way of us maintaining that connection. In the end I became an enabler, much like others on here, I showed her there weren't any consequences for abandoning the marriage and she took that as a green light to take a no risk chance on seeing if she could find better, all while keeping me on a metaphorical leash, a backup plan in case her breaking of marriage vows didn't work out. It was by far the biggest pre dB mistake I made. Do not fall into this trap, it will prolong your suffering and give you false hope of reconciliation. Remember, you did not break the marriage, you are not to blame for his lack of maturity, respect for you, disregarding of your feelings. You don't have to put up with that behavior. Do not make him feel like you will always be there for his convenience and his convenience alone. He has to realize and fear the possibility that you will tire of his charade and not demean yourself any further if he continues.
Like a spoilt child, the more they push and break boundaries and are met with soft resistance, the more they see it as a green light or free pass to continue to break them and feel no consequences. It's one thing to deal with this with adolescents or kids but you H is old enough to know what he is doing and he has no right to disrespect you and abuse your kindness. Make him feel like you can do better than him, make him feel like you aren't afraid of losing him, make him feel like you know your worth and you don't deserve the treatment and indignation he is subjecting you to.
I don't by any means say to look for someone, but learn to be alone and thrive.
