Having gone through MLC, my guess is your H is going through one. You talk about energy and goals with MLC'ers. They may seem like goals and energy from the outside but from the inside there is a total jumble of emotions going on and normally MLC'ers don't want to sleep because that is when the demons come and they cannot deal with any of that, so they distract as much as they can. My guess is your H is MLC, a total trainwreck going on inside, so any guesswork from your end is totally guesswork and doesn't achieve much other than causing you to not GAL and to not set healthy boundaries for yourself. I would say in most cases like this there is a AP. MLC'ers can talk a big game of independence but they don't jump without a net. Most MLC'ers are cowardly in that way. and I understand not wanting to believe this. If you look at my old thread I thought there was no AP. I think it was partially a defense mechanism on my part. Interesting things we do when were in pain. In my case that was enough anger to to help fuel GAL and trying in the beginning to move forward.
What I see.
You spend too much time watching what he does, how he acts and how much he reaches out. You really need to start developing your own life, your own hobbies, a life that your proud of without any body else's input. I had to do that. I had to fake it for a while.....but eventually you do see the blessings from concentrating on your life and valueing yourself enough to not be happy when a crumb or two is tossed your way by your MLC'er. I understand this is difficult. We all agree on that.
Believe me, if your H comes through MLC you will know it. You will not have to decipher clues, texts, actions etc. He will know and understand the pain he has brought forth. Doesn't mean he will reach out but his actions will change.
