Since you are asking - I'm gonna be honest with you. It really doesn't matter what it is. Whether it's depression, MLC, or just being a good ole fashion a$$, the truth is that no "answer" makes it any better. Outside of providing a guideline for what to expect in order to protect yourself, or understanding the symptoms so you can detach and depersonalize the situation; it's a cheeseless tunnel to go down. It won't bring you peace, nor will it solve the situation.
Although you are new to the board - this is not a new situation for you. Yet it looks like you are still giving him so much power. From the bleacher seats - it looks like you struggle to detach and let go.
This is normal. When we let go - there is a real chance that our loved ones... actually go. But by holding on... you are holding onto a version of the relationship that is not what you signed up for, nor is it loving or healthy. But in our minds... we convince ourselves that it is better than nothing. We protect ourselves from the pain that comes when we let go.
Only you can decide when to stop this. This does not mean stopping fighting for the marriage. Actually one of the best chances you can give yourself for your marriage to get better is to STOP the treatment that is hurting you. To take the stance and to believe you are worthy of respect, love, and a partnership that is equal....
Save yourself first... And let your H figure out if he wants to save himself.
((( G )))
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
