Wow, it is often mentioned here how emotional sensitivity and empathy increase after BD. I can testify to the truth of this. It broke my walls and shields. Exposed all the raw receptors. It hurts.
A lot of us DBers go through that. And I'm glad that you are as well...
It's an emotional awakening that defines who you are, what you are, how you are, and why you are...
Call it spiritual, call it getting in touch with your feminine side, whatever it is...
It will change your responses and reactions from this day forward...as it should.
You are seeing the world through a new set of eyes now.
And as I call it ???
As crappy as it's been, it is also one of the many gifts that your situation has given to you....
Originally Posted by grok
In all my life I have NEVER been affected by others' emotions like this. I don't have the tools or experience to deal with it. Just typing this out days later still brings tears to my eyes and a lump into my throat all over again.
I'm learning. Learning on the fly. Story of my life.
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Yea, however , you are learning to use some new tools now.
No longer will you be cutting tile with a butter knife.
In time though, the extremeness of it will fade a bit, and you will become a more balanced person while keeping those new tools.
One thing that I did though, I gave myself 2 years to work on myself (not as a timeline) and to let things settle in my sitch. I figured that my marriage deserved that, and that I also deserved that.
I looked back over the years that my spouse had carried the marriage on her back while I was taking everything for granted, and maybe it was MY turn to carry the marriage for a while, while she figured herself out (or not).
What I also did, was to make a template, of what I wanted MY life to look like, and what I wanted it to look like within the confines of a relationship. Whether it was with her, or not.
I got some new tools, I sharpened the ones that I had after I took them out of the box and examined them to see if they worked for me...
Some did, some did not....
So maybe recognize those new tools when you get them...
Examine the ones you already have ...
Try them out, try them on, to see if they work for who YOU want to be for your future...
Whether your next relationship is with your current spouse or not....
