Sooo many unknowns

[grok]

Whatlee,

I felt like I needed permission to ask questions, so many on here are big on using the GAL phrase, so I feel at times like I shouldn't ask questions. I understand people do get frustrated, my own friends and family don't want to hear it, I don't even talk abt it with them anymore, try not to mention his name.

Ask away! I'll repeat what I told Catman19: "We all need a place. Here people understand from personal experience. Journaling or to yourself isn't enough. Who in our close circles could we lay all this on?" Advice here comes both gently and sometimes applied with a club. From hard earned experience.

I do still have questions at different times as I drive 80miles a day between my jobs, that's a lot of alone time and time to think.

I don't want a D, it's just thoughts that go through my head in my alone time. Like is the only reason he isn't D'ing is because he doesn't want to pay spousal support, in the meantime he's doing whatever he wants, with whoever he wants and I'm living in a camper. It's those kinda thoughts that I deal with. I have to tell myself it's the devil and he has to flee at the name of Jesus.

We all have questions at different times. Alone time is problem thoughts time. It was me on the drive to work this morning. I get it. Today I let myself question and feel "all the things" for 10-15 minutes, then STOP and think of all the things to do today, the good people I will interact with, and the blasted chicken that always wants to peck me.

I don't want a D either. The lack of control and unfairness ... well ... dropping what I can't control or is unfair is difficult for me. The questions are about the other person and likely will never be answered. They are pain that tries to draw me in...it hurts so I pay attention to what hurts...but in MWD terms, cheeseless tunnels. What might be your H's reasons for not D, or my W's reasons for D...the questions don't change what actions to take for me.

Would you feel the same if a fire or tornado destroyed your home and you had to live in a trailer?

It has helped me to keep thinking on one of "The Four Agreements." A suggested book read in building the next version of you.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

g