Just checking back in after some heavy work at the "day job". Things have been cruising along here in Limboland. I'm balancing GALing with being responsive to W's outreach related to MC "assigned" activities, recreating some fun/humor in our relationship, and seemingly everything in our home deciding it was time for repairs/maintenance at once!
Over Mother's Day, I opted to spend it with W, D14, and my in-laws. My mother was unhappy (again if you've continued following my sitch; W and my mother can get to be at odds over where I spend the actual day). My IC and our MC advised that W should come first. Even marital guru John Gottman advises the same in his books. So, I feel like I've been on good, objective ground in that choice. W was pleased that I put her first. Mom...isn't talking for now and that too is understandable to some extent.
W's attorney is pressuring her to make up her mind. W postponed mediation once and seems to be a bit panicky about the L's pressure. She's also worried about continued conflict with my mother. I told her that I see why she feels that way. I gently suggested that it was a good thing she married me and not my mom...trying to balance some humor without invalidating how W feels. We've got another MC appt this week so we'll see what that brings.
I've got two concerns coming up that I'm attending with friends and a whole host of the usual summer graduation parties to attend plus a wedding or two. The nicer weather helps me want to get out of the house and accomplish more, whether fitness-related or just outdoor maintenance work. I may have to swing over to the local brewery tonight to try out their new releases.
Be well, everyone. Keep plugging away at strategies recommended and in MWDs various books. I know how it can feel terrible and like a long path at times. I recall thinking "How will any of this help?" or "But this is the complete opposite of what I feel I should do or want to do". And, keep in mind that you're working on YOURSELF most of all. MWD's book on changing your life and everyone in it is steeped in lots of honest self-work. It means confronting things about yourself that you may not want to surface or like to admit. But, that is where the real work lies. It has made me much more thoughtful about my intentions, and more careful in my word choice and actions, and that work continues. Take care!
