thanks for replies guys, i ramble on a lot here but its a great place to vent and get frustrations out.
I have ceased communicating with her unless its business only and even thats sparse, any attempts to coordinate anything is usually met with no concrete times, dates, etc. So thats clearly not an option. I do not see her, dont talk to her on phone or message, its a waste of energy in my opinion and very unproductive.
Despite all this at least i sense some hope, which is something i havent had in a while, the more it drags on the more the prospect of my new life gives me even a small sense of optimism. I know its no cure or solution to my emotional state, but I am putting myself in the best situation for healing and create a new oppurtunity, and for once in my life I am looking out for my own well being and pursuit of personal happiness, without external input from anyone but the person that stands in the mirror. She is merely an obstacle to me now, but nothing that I cant surmount. I realized a few months back that she has chosen the wrong path and I have to choose my path now and stick to it.
I long ignored my own intuition and perception of her and my life and now its time to let destiny and fate take me to where i belong.
ill leave with this reading from 2 Timothy 3:1-17 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ..
