Just so you know MamaG a lot of us here will read your thread, we try our best to relate to you or give you advice to help you as much as possible. Personally id like to give advice but your situation is slightl different than mine or many of us, so we try not to give advice that might harm the process for you. That being said from many of the threads here i think yours seems like one of the more optimistic ones, you have to tread very carefuly in what you say and do, but in some of your posts your H does show signs of genuine care for you, but i think is going through a lot of inner turmoil. Ill be honest when i turned 40 and all of this happened, i was personally having a very difficult time coping with all the thoughts, coupled with the realization that 8 years of not being able to have a family and dealing with pandemic restrictions gave me somewhat of a mid life crisis and was very hard for me. Everyone is different and deals with life difficulties and tough milestones differently, some of us arent as mentally strong as others and everyone has a different upbringing My biggest tip for you is give him enough space, be kind and cordial, but dont make him feel like you need him, work on your physical health and well being and if you have to change your diet to be more healthy, its one of the best things you can do for your mind, body, and soul. Youll be surprised how much you can get into a steady routine and learn about health and fitness and youll feel good about yourself, and a side benefit is he will see a whole new you
One thing that helped me a lot was just going for random coffees or lunches with friends, find a friend or work colleague that has a flexible schedule and chat it up with them. Enjoy a nice patio and sunshine, spend more time outside. Smell random flowers, listen to the birds sing, enjoy gods gift of nature and know that hes looking down on you.
