Yeah my biggest issue with 23rd is it leaves me very little time to go to garbage dump, move what has to be moved, as i have to sell the vehicle. My biggest issue is throughout this process the more ive given in to her alteration of everything the more she has taken that as a free pass and a sign that there is no urgency. I cannot let her dictate the logistics of something that can cause legal issues to which i become responsible as well. I have a boat load of things to do for myself and her altering dates to last minute jeopardizes my to do list. So i ended up getting my lawyer to draft and send an email This is the exact wording and it puts things into a strictly business perspective
As you are aware, the sale of the home closes on June 28, 2024. We need to set a timetable to clear out all of our contents/belongings in advance of this date. I have tried to work with you on arranging a time that you can attend to deal with your contents/belongings, but this has been very challenging.
Please immediately advise when you plan on attending the home to remove your contents/belongings. If there are items in the home that you wish to keep that are not yours, please let me know so that I can set them aside for you.
To allow for the removal and clearing of the items in the house in an orderly fashion, please ensure that you attend prior to June 17, 2024. If I do not hear from you before May 30, 2024 with your dates, then I will assume that you do not wish to keep your items and I will arrange for them to be disposed at your cost.
Ill be completely honest the snooping is no longer making me attached. In an odd counterintuitive way it's actually been helping me detach even quicker and remove emotions. It's desensitizing me from her and the person my brain has been tricking me into thinking she was. It's also allowing me to see how unseriously she's taking the process and giving me some incentive to use my lawyer more and when necessary to make this clear and serious. It shows me how her patterns and cycles are in repetition and gives me insight into her true self more than i would have gotten otherwise. The last time she came to the home I felt nothing for her and I purposely stayed away from home until she was gone. While before I'd still feel something when looking at her, I just couldn't be bothered.
I think for the first time in a while I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and my vision for my new life back in my country of origin surrounded by my family is becoming clearer and something to look forward too. Seeing her behaviour and continuation of brokenness has helped push me like a cattle prod quicker into that new life.
A lot of the stressors now from me is the fact I have a good few dozen things to do and make sure I forget nothing as my ticket will be one way, but I purposely left many of those things for the 4-5 weeks i have off work so i can be busy everyday.
Ive been throwing in some last goodbyes and coffees/lunches with good friends to occupu any downtime and have been giving my own possessions to people i value as a thank you for being there for me. Its alot easier to give things to people that i know will appreciate it vs selling it to strangers or discarding.
