You asked how they come out of it? First off, they may go to a therapist once or twice and will not return because they do not want to hear what the truth may be. They want the therapist to tell them to go, have fun, experiment, and if you aren't happy, then maybe you need to separate/divorce your spouse/partner. They will only hang out with people who encourage them to do whatever it is they are doing at the time. Be it dressing as a teenager, using the teen lingo, drinking, doing drugs, bed hopping and just plain out acting like a teenager.
Depression works in mysterious ways. It is not all about sitting in corner with your head covered up. It can be experienced by those who are going through it in many ways. They get very emotional along the way, so the flare ups in anger or tears will come out to play.
The only way that they come out of it is that they have to go through the entire process from beginning to end w/o interruption by us. They have to grow up. They are experiencing growing up pains or teething as we once called it. You can't help them, you can't offer them advice unless they seek it from you. You have to leave them be, let them hit the brick walls until they are finally exhausted and come to realize that the next trip down the road isn't going to help them either. They have to hit bottom.
If you haven't read any of the other threads on the MLC Forum, I strongly urge you to do so. MLC has been around a very long time and the only reason we are seeing it now is because people are living longer and people are more apt to talk more openly about what is going on in their relationships.
The best thing you can do is keep the focus on you. If there are things about yourself that you aren't happy with, now is the time to think about working on them. I realize that you are trying to figure out what to do for him...but as a fixer, you can't fix him, you can't rush the process. All you can do is let go, let God have him for a while.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
