Im in a similar phase to you and i think the acceptance and not wanting her has come to me more as ive stopped letting her manipulate me and set boundaries and deadlines. Following what shes doing has also desensitized me from her as all i see is a loser who is repeating the same bad behaviours and is doubling down on her mistakes. Indiffirence grows when you realize how much of yourself you are losing to someone who couldnt care less.
Do not in any way go actively looking for anyone at the moment, it will set you back, figure yourself out, figure out what your non negotiable values and morals are, expand your personality and use your inner self and the person that makes you valuable to you as a strength. Build yourself back up but stay true to yourself.
From personal experience, ive started feeling better from being in a better mood, being more physically fit and it shows to others, being able to make small talk with strangers and getting compliments does wonders for your confidence, but take your time and be patient with yourself. Someone will come along and show up in your life when you are ready, and being ready will improve your chances for a successful healthy relationship
Just remember something, despite everything, when things started going in the wrong direction and you went through pain and mistreatment, do you feel better now alone and knowing you have been and are doing the right things or did you feel better when you were doing the right things and being disrespected and devalued?
