What can I do differently?

[DnJ]

I see you posted while I was typing. So a bit more follow up.

How do you propose I answer:
1. How did the medical exam go?
2. Did you get results yet from the exam? (assuming I don't provide the detail he expects at any pt)
3. What time would you like me to pick you up tomorrow for surgery? (I do have someone who can take me).
4. What do you mean you don't need me to take you? I took the day off?
5. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? (post surgery)
6. Is something wrong? You've changed (I know he's noticed that I'm not so eager to engage).

Use the 24-48 hour rule.

Look at all the questions and negativity from H you are expecting. Dial that to zero. Let go. Deal with things as they come up. If they come up. Not before!

When one thinks, feels, believes their partner is going to angry or upset, they actually behave in a manner that reinforces the very behaviour they are expecting/trying to avoid. In a way, we craft the very thing we don’t want to happen by worrying and trying to work against it.

Most stuff we worry and fret over, never comes to pass. Folks expend so much energies and stress so much over things that simply don’t happen. Yet, the self damage and exhaustion does. Imagine how much energy you can invest into the 1% of things that actually do require your efforts when you let go of the other 99%.

Do a big 180! For you! Let go. Don’t worry what H might feel about your appointment. It’s your appointment!

D