Job is correct. Everybodies journey through MLC is different in terms of time frames. A lot of the symptoms are the same but after that you can get years of cycling. She is also correct that you didn't break them so you can't fix them. You can only fix yourself and become the best you can be.
I will explain in general terms since it was what feels like lifetimes ago and it's a part of my past. Yes, I went through all the stages of MLC. In the beginning I thought I would document it and I did for about 6 weeks but the pain for me was so intense I stopped. Again, it was a struggle getting form sun up to sun down.
Most of the stages were accompanied by an intense depression. The accompanning depression was always there. I did not have the capacity to think about much else in my life except trying to survive this. Thank goodness I went internally into this and fought through it rather than the going outside with affairs, drinking etc. That would have been difficult to rectify after it was over. I fluctuated between, anger/depression, denial/depression and replay/depression most of the 2 1/2 years. Most of the time I spent in replay/depression. It was not until I hit rock bottom about 2 years into the MLC that I was finally able to get to withdrawal and expel out or complete my MLC journey. I can't go into detail what my issue was as I think that is mine and mine alone. I will say I was finally able to forgive myself and others. This forgiveness allowed me to hit withdrawal/exceptance. The final stage after the rock bottom moment took about 6 month's. Start to finish 2 1/2 years.
I hope this clarifies things for you but again, listen to Job. Your journey should have very little to do with him. If he chooses to do the work he has a chance to come out of this. As my Exw and Job's Exh can show you. MLC can be long as in there case over 10+ yrs.
