These are all things that you never appreciate fully until you realize they are disappearing from your mind and your life, like a blurred landscape in the rear view mirror of your car that is your life, slowly moving away from the distance as you continue your path in the opposite direction, except with the understanding that you will never be able to visit the place you have just left. It becomes a memory once vivid and real but now vague and foggy.
Yes, we often don’t feel we fully appreciate it until we lose it. Ah, feelings. Let them flit.
One’s immutable past lives on in their memory. Yes, it does get somewhat foggier, although I wonder how clear and fog-free folks see their present moments too. Our life, our cars, the rear view mirror is tiny compared to the front facing windshield. It’s perfectly fine and normal to gaze in the mirror and upon one’s life and loss; just don’t get mired in it.
The windshield is full of wonder. Be present and live in the current moment. While planning to the future. Around a corner or over a hill is something new and not yet explored. Be there. Live it. And look back fondly every now and then.
Living in the future, one is anxious. Living in the past, one is depressed. Living in the present, one is calm and at peace.
It’s odd how much I thought, I felt, I was loosing back then. True, I have lost some things. W’s company and companionship for example. Yet, lots remained, and I’ve gained. On the whole, much more positive and better, than loss and negative. And for a long while, I felt much like it would be opposite.
Life’s windshield, life’s progress. We do accumulate present moments, better when we are more present in them. These moments become our ever growing immutable past. Appended on what we already have. Slowly, more and more better “new” times take their place in that rear view mirror. Altering that landscape. Part of the process of acceptance, of becoming whole and healed.
Have a great day my friend.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
