Nicely done with questions about dating, how you will manage, etc. Yep, leave the future to unfurl in its time.
Originally Posted by grok
Now? Almost always after 10p when lights are mostly out and kids brushing their teeth. Since it is disruptive to evening routines and dogs to come in that late, she stays in her car and texts “anyone want hugs?” The kids go out to her at the curb and take 30 seconds for D19, 5 to 20 minutes for D17 and S12.
Wow. Hugs at the side of the road.
Yep, some strange stuff sure does happen.
Originally Posted by grok
I have not indicated any limits on their timing with her.
Left unspoken is why does she not come earlier and come in when it is not disruptive to bedtimes. Unspoken is why she does not take them to her place for visits.
You likely need to, should, speak about this. And I mean with the kids.
Gentle steering. Open and honest dialog with them. I’d bet they find Mom’s later night side of the road look at me I’m a great mom hug disruptive too. Allow them tell you how they feel and see things. Encourage and support that they can say “no thank you” to such timing.
However, it does take time for kids to come to that. For a while, they cannot risk loosing their parent and will put up with much. During this, they will also lash out at the strong and stable parent; that parent getting a double dose. All perfect normal responses. When they are ready to start standing up to Mom’s behaviour, support them is all. Be their living example.
Originally Posted by grok
I’ve wondered about the homeschooling bit with W not present many days now. I’m keeping an eye on it. It is summer break for the schooling co-op program. More has to be done than that program provides alone though. The other day on a 1 hr day visit, W gave D17 instructions on daily schooling for S12 to do right now. Hmmm…. D17 has been following through with him. She said, “Daddy, I was bored during the day right now so I asked Mommy if I could teach him.”
How much is D17 seeing a gap and filling in for parents? I don’t know. It is good for D17 and S12 and disturbs me at the same time.
Do not let daughter be parent. She is daughter, and she needs to grow, explore, and be herself.
Yes, D17 can help out. Yet, responsibility for S12’s schooling is your’s and W’s. Now, W is a bit of a flake. So, that leaves you. In short, do it!
Be present and active in S12’s schooling and life. Heck, all your kids lives. By the way, is D17 graduating this year or one more to go? What about post high school education?
Lots gets put on our plates. I know you can knock it out of the park G.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
