Thanks boat. I am not voiding myself of any responsibility for breakdown of marriage, perdonality are legitilate things that affect how people perceive normal relationships. During relationship i constantly and repeatedly asked myself if this was normal, if the endless abuse followed by pretending as if nothing had happened the next day. The impossible to meet demand for more attention, to a point where any more eas physically impossible. To then seeing her go through the npd cycles of relationships in real time with new partners, the love bombing (idealization), abnotmal mirroring, future faking, followed by having arguments when their target shows any faults, the impossible task of showing any form of empathy or accountability, the blame shifting and smear campaigns of ex partner, the enabling friends, not being able to keep friends long term and finding new ones constantly who validate them
I looked up many psychologist papers on npd and clinically diagnosed npd psychologists listing all the traits and behaviours of someone with npd and they match down to every single trait then im pretty sure i am not imagining what i experienced. While many of us have narcissistic traits and it is a spectrum, the personality disorder is the way the person sees the world. Until you live through each and every trait of this disorder you never truly understand how destructive the behaviour actually is.
There are people who go through crisis and haveba difficult time and make bad choices. Many end up having some sort of self awareness. But one cannot dismiss such behaviour as typical as it is not.
