Has anyone ever considered how big of a roll personality disorders play in these situations. Like all of the stories seem the same here, build up a good life, everything seems fine for a while, hit a rough patch in the relationship and the person bails for reasons that dont seem logical or worthy of breaking up a marriage and family. Is it just possible that we are all empathetic people dealing with Cluster B personality disordered spouses? Is it just maybe possible while the DB strategy is great, working on yourself is great and improves ones own life, but if you are dealing with someone who sees the world in a self driven identity and perception of the world and relationships that maybe we are fighting against something that is changing us to be something for someone. While we are forgetting that we deserve happiness, respect, affection and compassion. Like at what point do we stop bending over backwards and dedicating our lives to someone who doesnt share the same values as us and lives their life with one goal and one sole purpose - to use others for their own personal gain without adequate compromise and selflessness.
Like all of these stories seem like we are dealing with either Bipolar or Narcissistic Personalities and we are trying to force someone to be something they cannot be, a personality disorder makes someone who they are this way for life, while we can conform and contort to please them, they dont see reality as we do - with empathy and kindness. Could it just be that tbey try to conform to what theyve been taught and what they see as being normal and approved by society, but they are really not being themselves and pretending to be someone they are not, and eventually they get tired of faking the characteristics that make us good human beings, and they give up and do what they feel and what they want to make themselves happy. No matter if its at someone elses expense and even at the expense of their lifelong well being. These people are disorderly and they sometimes need a trigger to be who they are, be it mid life, post partum, social media, bad friends and enablers.
I think sometimes we are not meant to be with people who dont love us as we deserve to be loved.
