So an update. 2 days ago, i send her 2 messages first one is "I need you to bring the big luggage so i can start packing" second message "Can you use the actuary the mediator recommended to get your pensiion valuation because we arent going to get it on time and separation agreement wont be readiy by house closing"
STBXW Replies : "From now on dont send me these messages. Its been a year and a half since we split up. Please only message me if its in regards to the house or finalizing the divorce. If you are having a hard time please reach out to a friend or your conselor. Thank you"
Now this message seems heavily coached, and i wouldnt be suprised if shes been playing the victim card to new guy and he had a hand in crafting this message for her. Like this is how you deal with your troublesome ex.
This kind of stuff is infuriating to me. Ive been trying to get her to either work on marriage or sell the house last year and since march of last year ive been trying to sell the house so i can move on. Ive had agreement papers thrown in my face to sell house. Ive had 3 month delay on destroying embryos. Delays on mediation documentation, now shes delaying taking her things from the house. At this point house closes by end of June and shes barely taken anything from the home. Im now considering getting the lawyer involved as its becoming ridiculous that i feel im dealing with a child. Shes skiritng her responsibilities and if this house isnt clear by closing we are liable to being sued by buyers.
Just the sheer audacity to send a message like that to me.
She probably is being coached by someone...
Doesn't really matter though , in the long run.
The analogy that I've always used is that the WAS anger is like the boosters on the Space Shuttle...
You know, they have the auxiliary fuel tanks strapped to their side during take off, and once they get to a cruising altitude the tanks drop off...and the flight gets much smoother..
Anger is much the same....
Anger is severe whenever there is a "push away" from the spouse...
She needs much more fuel to push away from you, her old life, her demons in her head....
She needs more fuel to justify getting a Divorce, which i'm certain at some point, she swore she would never do....
She needs you to be this person to justify her decision to leave...
She needs you to react the same way that she pictures you in her head....
She needs you to be that person so that she can look at said friends and say...see ??
Because how dare you be different ?
How dare you not be the person that she has described ??
As far as her belongings ?
She knows the dates, she knows the deal....
You can't fix or change it for her.
It's either out by the date ....or it's in a dumpster before the date.
A former wise poster here gave me some great advice a while back....
Every time they hit you with a load of bullschidt....
Hit them back with a load of reality...
Stay your course, because that is who you want to be...
