Pattnee5, thanks for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but happy to hear that you're carrying on. I have soooo many questions. Hope you don't mind. If he hadn't moved across the world, do you think you'd still be seeing "Hugs admiration for the kids, moments and glimmers of hope."? And/or, would the "times he would even kiss me and then you could almost see the wall go straight up and the alien appear." have led to more and more until he got through? I'm in that place now - he'll hug and hold my hand for hours, go to dinner/breakfast, take me to appts, watch some Netflix, play cards. He runs out of steam and needs to 'go home', but is able and willing to do this several times a week. Do I continue inviting and doing things together? Am I holding him back?
I don't get much monster - can't remember when I last saw monster. H is generally calm and talkative about work and a couple outings he may have. For the most part, H's life is quite boring and homebound. H doesn't talk about kids, family, homes, R, anything else. Just work and seldom outings. H isn't arrogant nor trying to impress me. H is purely low-key and foggy. Any idea why H isn't a monster? Was your H always a monster through the 16 months or did he slow down at some point?
What makes you believe that your H is between depression and withdrawal? What actions/changes did you see/hear to lead you to think so?
My H admits to wearing a mask most days/times and says it's exhausting. It surprises me that H has such awareness. Is this common?
Would you describe your H to have an avoidant personality style like my H? I'd categorize myself as an anxious style. I'm thinking this didn't help our current situation.
