My W reached stage 2 last summer when OM didn't appear to be following through. "G, I know I'm responsible for the consequences of my own choices, BUT...." and then stage 3 of remorse late last fall sometime. "G, I'm sorry you got hurt in all this. I don't know what more you want from me." I haven't seen any further mental work. This doesn't mean it is or is not happening. She has always been very introspective.
And I've gone dark. At first to let her experience what she claimed to want. Then I realized later it was also for me, my peace, my recovery, and to be able to detach.
I have gone through this as well, I got a few "I [censored] ups", along with "Noone is ever going to want me". To me these are signs of things not going as well as they expected and having some remorse. But the biggest problem with this is instead of swallowing their pride and admitting guilt and remorse and returning to the best thing they ever had,is them potentially grooming a new target to get that same feeling and starting the cycle all over again. I guess this is the part that makes or breaks any potential reconciliation and likely breaks the deal once and for all for most
Last edited by Catman19; 05/03/2401:54 PM. Reason: Quotation
