I sense the wanting to be friends is less of her wanting to cushion things and more about having a source of emotional comfort having me in her life. In narcissism speak this is called keeping supply around, I truly sense she knows what shes losing because she hasn't been able to replicate it elsewhere, and in her moments of honesty has said as such and told me she really [censored] up. I don't feel a need to have her in my life in any manner but I also understand that when everything is done and I'm in a new environment those feelings might change, but not in anyway to have her entire my life in any meaningful way. I have purposely not sought out a new partner and have worked on myself first and made sure all ties and attachments with her are cut before I even open my heart to someone new. I have taught myself to not have any hate towards her and still pray for her well being as im a person of strong faith, but I also understand I cannot have her influence in my life. I guess striking a proper balance is the key for me, but being in a different country and surrounded by family with a new life ahead of me will put me in an ideal situation to succeed.
