H and I had planned a vacation for this past week but MLC nixed that. As such, we were both not working. I typically see my H 2x a week for cancer appts - spend 4 to 5 hours a day with him, until he 'has to go home to...'. This week, I've seen him 4 out of 5 days. I looked forward to it so much (secretively). H is pleasant but his need to escape is so prevalent. It seems to hurt more when I see him more. Today, H left to go home to take a nap. Really? H is in our home and needs to leave to take a nap. People say I'm strong and days like today, I don't see it. The pain, heartache, disappointment just don't stop. H left and I curled up in bed just ugly crying. My reaction to H's unwarned "I'm going to go home to take a nap before my appointment." announcement caught me off guard and I immediately switched from content to visibly disappointed. H noticed and felt guilty...started to talk really nice and thanked me for a delicious lunch. "Did you get those burgers on sale?" I responded with a snarky response. H's request for a hug good-bye was reluctantly reciprocated and off he went. I acted like a 2 year old with a tantrum. So disappointed. sigh.
