Also, H agreed to a R-talk for this weekend. Assuming he makes good on it, what can I ask? I know ideally, I listen but as a man of few words, I may have to ask something to get things moving.
Most people arriving here think that talking will help solve this. I do not recall anyone here ever being successful at that. That is why one of the IMPORTANT DBing rules is to avoid INITIATING RELATIONSHIP TALKS.
The successful ones STFU and listen and observe and change the way they interact and the way they behave when they are around the wayward spouse.
He blames you for his unhappiness. The only way for him to stop blaming you for this unhappiness is you giving him enough time and space away from you to realize he is unhappy without you and start missing you. He needs to feel like he lost you.
Friday, text him "Something important came up and I will not be able to get together with you this weekend. TTYL"
This is intentionally vague. Do you think this statement will peak his interest??? If you do not engage with him all weekend, who do you think he will be thinking about?
You are focused on the wrong person. Focus all of your energy on YOU and making positive changes to your behavior. How hard is it to change just one of your habits? I bet pretty hard. Attempting to change another persons (husbands) behaviors is almost impossible.
PS:
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. It was the best worse thing that ever happened to me.
I wish you well and will be praying for you.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
