I'm glad that I was able to bring you to thought...
I've always been a "teach a Man to fish" kind of poster rather than a "give a Man a fish"...
KWIM ?
Over the years, and because of my friendship with Jack. I have also become friends with Mrs. J3B, and we have had several conversations about her time in MLC, what she was thinking (or lack thereof) , what she was seeing, feeling, etc....
And one reason I bring this up with you, is about the balance of what I speak of....
Nothing...
Everything...
It's a razors edge for sure.
One thing that I was told by her, was that she was always watching, often times not believing even though it was in front of her. And it was the integrity that Jack acted with, that first made her want to watch more closely. And it was his consistency that eventually prompted her to be more inquisitive.
Which is odd, because Jack always said that his pride was his "ride or die"....
Pride was the hill that he stood on, often times for far too long, and one of his greatest opponents. He walked that line daily, between it being motivation, yet not allowing it to become his downfall.
Mrs. Beans said that after her "bottom", she knew that she had 3 choices to make....
She could return the the marriage, hoping that what she saw had become real...
She could continue with status quo, knowing that it never really fulfilled her heart...
Or, she could remain alone forever, because Jack was her one true love...
Jack, on the other hand. The King of "stop snooping" , found her journal one day that she had left during a visit with the boys....
And there were multiple pages with merely....
"I MISS JACK"
In various scripts and colors....
While hopeful...he had DB on one shoulder, and Pride sat firmly entrenched on the other...
What she feared, and the thing that she worked the hardest to overcome...
Was the feeling of being judged..
And the fear of being judged, while it being strong from others....
Played a vital role in her having difficulties with forgiveness....
I linked T2's thread because I see a lot of his posting style in you....
The way he processed, and thought. I see that you could be Kindred posters, and that you could learn from one hell of a guy. He too went through a metamorphosis to become what he should have always been. And I think a lot of us have done that post bomb, and many have been surprised on how instinctively that has happened for us.
I have also witnessed several Men in that situation burn out quickly from doing that. The sustained instant accountability becomes overwhelming if the reason is merely obtaining a goal. When the goal fades, so does the façade of changing because we simply felt the need to change...
Mind you, that has NOT happened with T2, and only time will tell with your story..
This process....DB.....
Is about consistency (as you know by now).....
DBing is a way of life for me now, and why do it at all if I wasn't going to continue it.
You're a deep thinker Grok, and sometimes deep thinkers scare me a bit.
As I think about it , what comes to mind is....
"Beware The Ides of March....."
I see a strong, capable, confident man taking the wheel and steering the ship....
What I also see....
Is a strong, capable man taking the wheel and steering the ship....
Be careful Grok....on which shoulder wins...
Keep reading T2....
Things get interesting around thread 14, 15, 16.....
