Grok. My W has exhibited similar behavior (constant comments about gray hair....needing to get it dyed, wondering about going all gray, etc.) and I recognize my MIL has historically said/done similar things about her hair. Years ago, during my first attempt at DBing, W was certain she wanted to get a tattoo, loose weight, questioned many previous life choices, and other MLC-like behavior).
Thanks to this forum, I've worked to pivot to what I can control, focused on myself and daughter, and researched strategies for navigating life with an MLC partner for now. More recently, W shifted to telling me she wants me to be happy and doesn't want me to later regret sticking with her to which I said "I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I'd let you know if I had similar concerns".
I fully agree with Sunflyer that needing someone who "can't live w/o her" seems unhealthy all around. Death, serious illness/injuries, and many other things can take loved ones from us in an instant. I can appreciate wanting a partner who is truly in it for the other person. Can't live w/o them is over the top IMHO.
