blindsided

[DnJ]

Hello aph

I understand and empathize. Yes, it’s a struggle. And one that is going to last for a while. Sorry man. Focus on you. Crank up your GAL. Keep moving forward. You will get through this.

ive gone from excited to depressed. i go from relieved to near panic.

Perfectly normal. Your emotions will express themselves in all kinds of ways. It’s part of the grief process. That journey to emotional understanding.

Now, a part of that journey, of grief, is depression. Anger, bargaining, and denial are of course present as well, it’s just that depression really pulls us down. Makes perfect sense, we get/are depressed as we progress with our internal struggle/journey to accepting our new reality.

Be gentle with yourself. This stuff takes time.

Although everyone’s path is individual, there is a similarity, a camaraderie in all this. And some damn fine life lessons for those willing to listen to their grief. Truly a golden opportunity rising from a journey none of us ever wanted to embark upon.

feeling like there is hope to hopeless that i will find someone that treats me how i should be treated.

That person.

That someone.

Who will treat how you should be treated.




Is you.


Find you. Be you.



In healing, you discover you. You find you. And find hope.

You treat yourself like you should be treated. You respect yourself. And through that, shine upon the world around you. Your inner convictions and values will/do attract the people in your life. The other “someones” who treat you properly as well.

Im trying to stay busy and get a life but my energy is all over the place.

When I try to do something, I usually fail it. When I decide to do something, I usually succeed.

“Trying” predisposed one to give equal probability to the possible outcomes - success or failure.

A “doing” mindset predisposed one to success. Certainly, one’s efforts do not always yield the intended results. Yet, more often than not, our outcome/results depend on how we initially framed things. Do or do not, there is no try.

I find “trying” allows me to give up too easily. While when I am going to “do” something, I’ll keep at it until I get it. Rest assured, if I try to clean the house, I’ll end up watching TV. lol.

“But” is another word choice that our mind listens to. Realize, your mind is always listening, and will craft your reality, craft your outlook, just as you ask it to. Do, try, can, cannot, will, won’t, etc.

“But” provides us justification to continue doing something we know we shouldn’t. It often impedes our progress, and usually unrealized too. “But” concatenates two thoughts together, regardless of how dissimilar or incongruous they are. That word choice forces/smashes the two ideas together in our mind and reinforces the first by utilizing the second (and the other way around too). Use a period or “and”. For example:

Im trying working to stay busy and get a life. but my energy is all over the place.

Two separate ideas. No need to smush them together. With them separate you can deal with each as you need to. It keeps the “problems” smaller and therefore the solutions/resolutions smaller. A journey of small steps is easier and more manageable.

Im trying to find things to do with others like meet ups but everything is virtual or to far away. Im fine being by myself but I feel so lonely.

It just doesnt feel real right now. I want things back the way they were but i know it was bad for me. It’s silly to want to go back and change history but i wish i could go back and fix things.

Have a go at re-writing these idea sans “but” and “try”. Doing such leads to thinking about them in a different light and fosters/reinforces positive progress.

Wording aside,

Yes, things do feel somewhat unreal for a while. I too wanted to fix my immutable past. Ah, bargaining. The last vestige of our old normal, and harbinger of depression, the next stage of grief.

Be strong my friend. And do take care of you.

D