It's a funny thing because a year ago, all I wanted was for him to be as he is now. I actually think I would prefer him to still be with AP because I'd know he was OK. I hate to see him suffering but equally, I've learned that our relationship wasn't the perfect relationship I thought it was. We were completely codependent. I mothered him, he didn't take on any responsibility & was dependent on me for most things. On my part, I felt adored (until I wasn't!) & was willing to put up with a banal existence because I felt safe & secure (meanwhile resentment was breeding on both sides).
This hits home with me. I'm far enough out that I can see how I indulged her in some positive ways (loving and accepting her despite her feeling inadequate due to her many years of obesity) and some negative ones (indulging her blatant fiscal irresponsibility, despite giving her chance after chance to improve). I got the adoration in return too, which felt great until it stopped, and I passively accepted that she had two jobs that were bring prioritized over me. I think not dealing with that was a mistake on my part, although if I had complained she probably would have said I was too controlling.
So glad to hear you're moving forward on all fronts, MA. Hopefully not being pulled around by him and his drama will be a relief to you. All blessings going forward.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
