I thought I would give an update and get some feedback from all the great people on here, who helped me tremendously in the early stages.
This is still the early stages. One of which is indifference. A time when one’s feelings towards their spouse become muted or attenuated.
Caution is needed during indifference as other feelings and temptations will loom much larger than they truly are while contrasted against the void of one’s temporary numbness. Nature abhors a vacuum and temptations can fill that void rather quickly when one is not diligent.
One of the basics of DB principles is taking rational actions based upon logic and reason. Following one’s mind instead of feelings. Feelings are fleeting and decisions made based upon emotions usually lead to regret.
Originally Posted by broken89
I no longer care or think about my soon to be ex-wife. I have moved on (I think) and am okay with the divorce.
I would venture that you are feeling quite indifferent. This period of calm and numbness is an excellent opportunity to look inward towards one’s self free from all the cacophony of the situation and spouse.
Realize indifference does unwind. It is temporary. Feelings do return. Best to have done a pile of inner work before then.
To the current events:
Originally Posted by broken89
Do I just give it time or simply move on for my sake?
Originally Posted by broken89
She admittedly said that neither of us were ready to be in a relationship at this time and I think she is probably right.
You know what you should do. And should not have done.
I agree with her, neither of you were likely ready to be in a relationship at this time.
My two cents regarding dating. IMHO .
No dating until at least one year after the divorce has been finalized. That’s signed and gone through the courts. Not separated, or pending, or any other “justified” condition. People have an incredible capacity for reason and we can/will craft justifications for any course we’d like to take. Stick to the path.
Become healed and whole before you date. Not date in an attempt to become whole and healed.
Time to dig into you. You are worth that investment.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
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