Just a little update from my situation. The house is still for sale and the market hasn't been ideal to sell, I'm not ready to sell the home while leaving too much money on the table while simultaneously I mentally feel I need to sell it quickly to move on even though I'm still battling my thoughts and feelings. I have not texted or called her in 1 week and a half, I don't even check the chat log so she doesn't see if I even have looked. I feel I must do this to start getting used to what life will be like. I noticed in her social media now she has deleted all photos of me, which is fine and expected. My takeaway is that she is likely deep into OM4 relationship seriousness and is blocking out everything. This Easter weekend has been difficult for me as I spent last years Easter the whole weekend with her when we were trying to see if we could make things work, we were still living separate at the time. I've used the whole weekend to continue my alternating gym day/yoga day routine and continue on my no processed food, no unhealthy food, lots of water, lots of fruit, vitamins, supplements diet. I have begun seeing noticeable changes in my physical appearance and it has improved my mental state.

When I get negative thoughts and begin feeling emotional I will embrace it, put on sad music but use it to workout and burn off the negative energy to the point of exhaustion. I have started updating my wardrobe as much of my clothes doesn't fit now and I'm converting over to more tight fitting clothing to match my new physique.

I spent Easter Sunday with my brothers family as his son is my godson and as is tradition for us we give Easter gifts to our God kids. The STBXW is also the godmother to the boy but I highly doubt she bought anything for him and I didn't ask because I already knew the answer. I called to wish her parents a happy Easter and it seems they spent it alone. It's almost as if she's isolating from everyone who cares about her and focusing on her new enabler friends and new lover and completely ignoring everything and anyone in life. It feels like if I am to complete the separation and home sale it's best to do it while she's in this delusional fantasy state of mind.
I do have a feeling that when inevitably OM 4 doesn't work out and divorce and home are dealt with she will come back with temperature checks and weaseling her way back, for this reason I think it is best that I make the final decision on whether I leave this country permanently and seek a life back to the homeland. This will give me an opportunity to fully move forward and explore a new life while not giving her any opportunity to reach out to me.

As much as my heart is still fighting me I understand that I cannot live in this constant state of limbo between heart and mind. It's an exhausting battle that will serve me no purpose going forward. It feels like I am living in a country that no longer gives me the desire to continue here and despite me doing the GAL more it feels like I am going through the motions and it might be best that I start anew in a new scenery surrounded by family and a strong support system.

People who do not walk in our shoes will truly never understand what it is like. The only place I've been able to find comfort and understanding has been on this forum and it has helped me a great deal. Thank you all and hope your Easter weekend was kind to you

Last edited by DnJ; 04/01/24 01:05 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.