Hey LB. Just checking back in. It looks like it's been a rough period and I'm sorry to see what's been up. As R2C is suggesting (by having you do things like count the number of times you're posts refer to "she"/your W), to me you focus on her is concerning. I'm hopeful you can stay on track to pivot to focus on yourself and your kids and less in reaction to your W, what she does, and what she is saying. GALing, detaching, living "as if"....all these concepts are about working on yourself - not doing things in reaction to her. That is giving away control/power to her.
I don't see outing her to her parents as helpful. Cathartic maybe and, as DnJ says, I guess it is one way to show you're not a doormat. Ultimately, I'd ask if it "helped" you achieve what it seemed like you wanted to achieve....or push the "love of your life" further away. Again, I get it. There are days when I want to unleash what I feel and what I know NOW. My W had an EA with a co-worker. I know it would be super-embarrassing if it were more public. My IC had me confront her and end it or end our marriage. She ended things with him, including sending me an email to confirm that she'd done so (so I've got "proof"). I saved it. Not to "out" her. But, as a reminder to myself she put in print that she'd followed through. By all accounts, she's truly done so. Affairs are often their own punishment for those involved. They feel shame, guilt, embarrassment, know they've broken a social and (for some) a religious norm.
This weekend, I hope you can focus on you and only you. Re-read DB and/or DR, Sandi's rules here in the forum, and other posts. Pick 10 recommendations and follow through on them as hard as you can. Keep doing it until you realize these actions are now habits and keep adding new ones. It will pay off if you stick to it, keep your emotions in check, and work on being unaffected by what W does or doesn't do. As the kids say these days, you do you!
