Thanks grok and dnj, yeah I'm grounded on Christian values as well and sometimes I question God's plan for me but also realize that he closes and opens doors for us. My vows and my morals were and remain my guiding principles in my life. As regard to mediation process, I have been the one driving the bus along with every other aspect like selling the home. I am doing this not because I want to but because I know I need to, I've exhausted all of my efforts on trying to fix things and I see her continuing to cope with her inner trauma by going deeper into the darkness, looking for solutions in external sources rather than searching deep inside. She has tried to delay anything she could as of late but I am no longer allowing her to dictate a path for me which is a path I have to pave on my own. When this all ends I will no longer communicate with her, for my own wellbeing and to allow her to finally see the consequences of her decisions and to realize the grass isn't greener. I'd think by now being on the 4th man that I know of in 2 years would have taught her this lesson but apparently she has avoided going to school.
I know ultimately I will be fine as I have mentally prepared my future path out in detail now I just need the cards to fall into place. I suspect her new guy everything is fresh and fun and I'm just the dude who takes care of the hard things be it financial, or legal. I am leaning more in the direction of exiting country and starting completely from scratch and I think I need to return to my roots to find myself fully again. From where we come sometimes we must return
